For the person you've been living with for 2.5 years:
For that person you've known for too long and have to face the music with:
You've made that deal that if you're both not married by the time you're 40, you'll just go for it. And now that shit's getting real.
For the person who's known you long enough to give you things you actually want:
You're not afraid to oink out with this person, because they'll love you even when you suggest fourth meal for the third time in a week. Nothing says dedication like a hotdog/pizza koozie.
For the person who always comments on their poo:
You didn't realize before you moved in with them that every shat was in need of some kind of commentary or categorizing, but apparently that's a thing and you love them anyway. Provide them with this special calendar (now 1/2 off!) written by a real doctor so they don't have to ask you what that particular shape means.
For the person who mentioned they worship Beyonce on your first date:
Score major points with a card complete with Beyonce lyrics and the perfect "Boy Bye" earrings.
For the person who wants an anti-Valentine:
Okay, this naked mole rat DOES have a bow and arrow with hearts on it, but you have to admit that it's not very romantic and mostly disgusting. Pairs perfectly with the grouchy opossum patch.
For the person who's nostalgic about their childhood:
You may not think of Mr. Rogers as a romantic kind of guy, but hey, it's written right there in the lyrics. "Would you be mine? Could you be mine?" If puppets and sweater changing gets you going, this is the right choice all around.
For the person who's scared of cupid:
With all of our Christmas items half off, how could you pass up the perfect opportunity to already be a Scrooge in time for next year?! Maybe by Easter you'll be able to get a real Valentine for half off.
For the person who tries to claim they hate Valentine's Day:
You secretly know that they want something special, even though they say something cliche like that Valentine's Day was invented by Hallmark, blah, blah. You can't go wrong with this sweet and pretty pink necklace from Luscious Jewelry, and a card that says how you really feel.
Wishing you all a fantastic Valentine's, Galentine's, and every kind of day in-between!